Pick a place, pick the dates, pack absolutely nothing. Every stay is invented, every host is delighted, and you won’t be charged, ever.
The Cornish-ish coast
A fishing village so quaint the postcards feel underdressed. One beach, two pubs, and three strongly held opinions about which pasty shop is the real one.
Salt, gulls, optimism
The Alpine-ish uplands
A village above the clouds and slightly beyond your budget — pointy roofs, suspiciously photogenic cows, and a funicular with delusions of grandeur.
Cowbells, cheese, thin air
The Lisbon-ish old town
An old town of sun-faded tiles and streets so steep they legally count as cardio. The tram is older than most constitutions and twice as reliable.
Tiles, trams, custard
The Italian-ish lakes
A lake so photogenic the mountains queue up to be reflected in it. Villages in ice-cream colours, and espresso measured in sips and pride.
Lemons, linen, long lunches
A small Nordic-ish island
A little island where the lighting is low, the jumpers are structural, and absolutely nothing happens — at a remarkably high standard.
Lamps, jumpers, meaningful silence
Go on — they’re all imaginary, so the weather’s guaranteed.