Six guilty pleasures · £0.00 of damage
All the thrill.
None of the bill.
Order the takeaway. Spec the supercar. Offer on the house. Then stop one step short of paying — every single time. Free, no sign-up, nothing real.
DelivernoKebabylon · 0.4 mi · ★ 4.6-ish
demoLarge doner, extra everything£8.90
0Salt & pepper chips£4.20
0Glass bottle of posh pop£2.60
0
Go on. Nothing will arrive. That’s the point.
“The dopamine was in the checkout all along — never the delivery. Skive keeps the first bit and bins the invoice.”
Ways to nearly spend it
Six simulators, six moods, one rule: everything except the paying.
- Delivernofood delivery, minus the billBuild the full blowout order — sides, extras, the dessert you'd regret. Then watch a delivery tracker that never, ever arrives.Open
- Wrongmoveproperty portal, minus the billSearch fictional postcodes, book a viewing, haggle, and get a mortgage in principle on a house that doesn't exist. The full funnel, none of the debt.Open
- Air-but-no-Bholiday stays, minus the billChoose a destination, pick your nights, meet your host, and receive a lovingly detailed itinerary for a trip you are not taking.Open
- Net-a-Skiveluxury fashion, minus the billBrowse the new season from houses that don't exist, at prices that shouldn't. Your personal shopper will applaud your restraint at the till.Open
- Faux-rraricar configurator, minus the billConfigure a supercar down to the stitching, watch the price do horrible things, run the finance numbers — then simply close the tab on £92,000.Open
- Skivetixgig tickets, minus the billYou are 41,203rd in the queue. Prices are rising while you read this. Feel the full ticket-day panic, then keep every penny of it.Open
Every brand, restaurant, postcode and headline act above is invented. That’s a feature.
You’ve nearly spent
Counted on your device, kept on your device. Nobody else is invited to your Tab.
The treat without
the Direct Debit.
Be honest: half the joy of the takeaway is the scrolling. Half the joy of the holiday is the planning. The supercar? You were never buying it — you just wanted twenty minutes choosing the stitching.
Skive serves the exact bit of spending your brain actually wants — the browsing, the basket, the “go on then” — and cuts away at the precise moment the money would leave. The Tab writes down what the moment would have cost, and didn’t.
It’s not a budgeting app. It’s the fun bit of splurging with the consequences surgically removed — which, it turns out, was the only bit worth keeping.
Fair questions
Is it free?
Completely. That is, in fact, the entire premise.
Do I need an account?
No. No sign-up, no email, no password you'll reuse from somewhere ill-advised. Just turn up and start not-buying.
Is any of it real?
Not a crumb. Every restaurant, estate agent, fashion house, marque, host and headline act is invented. It's a parody — nothing is for sale, nothing can be bought, and no card details are wanted, ever.
What actually happens?
You do the fun bit of spending — the browsing, the configuring, the basket-filling — and stop exactly one step short of paying. The Tab quietly totals up everything you didn't spend. That's it. That's the app.
Where does my data go?
Nowhere. The Tab lives in your browser's localStorage and never leaves your device. No login, no ads, no following you around the internet.
Why does this exist?
Because the dopamine is in the checkout, not the delivery — and because everything costs £4.50 now. This keeps the first bit and bins the invoice.